Sometimes life can take us to highs and lows, around curves and corners and still we can’t see the forest through the trees.
Two weeks ago it became apparent that there was a very strong possibility that my husband could be laid off due to a strike that would leave him without work to do.
But there was no communication…
No one mentioned a plan or concerns or gave any indication of what to expect. There was only hearsay and speculation.
Finally the day came for the final union vote and it wasn’t good. Still little was offered except vague possibilities.
Finally after weeks of waiting it was decided that contractors would keep their positions but not work during the strike. Whew!
At least we had a chance to come out okay in the end. Then the next morning all the managers met together and decided that instead the contractors would work doing odd jobs that they could perform in order to support manufacturing.
Strange but at least it would allow for a paycheck.
The following Monday my husband went to work ready and willing to do whatever was necessary to keep working and be able to support his family. He was sent home. Contract cancelled, turn in your badge, see you later!
I very seldom have seen that look of devastation that was on his face. This man who is normally upbeat and approaches life with so much hope was faced with a completely demoralizing situation.
He then called his headhunter and the search began. At that point I think we both were in complete shock. He had been laid off before but never in such an inhumane way.
My reaction was not at all as I expected. At first I just wanted to hide under the covers, cry and never come out. I completely froze. This has always been my go to Sympathetic response. I was also in a fog and barely able to think clearly. That hadn’t showed up for a long time.
Until my practitioner asked me what emotion was connected to all of this and what I felt I needed?
That began a time of so much reflection for me, I didn’t even know. Emotion? Was I sad? Was I angry? Was I scared, disappointed, or just afraid of all that I could have to do.
We had just moved three months ago and now I couldn’t even imagine how I would do a repeat, and where would we go?
The options were limited, and to me not desirable at all.
On Tuesday I attended my master coach training and couldn’t do anything but cry.
Thursday we started our new students on their Pathway Connect Journey in the morning and by that afternoon an interview was scheduled for the next afternoon with a local company looking for an engineer to work virtually, short term. Probably until January.
I felt hopeful but cautious.
I wanted to believe that this would be the answer to my prayers and that it could give us time to figure out a more permanent solution to what would have brought so many wonderful things to a screeching halt.
Call me selfish but I was enjoying being back in what is to me one of the most beautiful areas in the world, despite the rain, and I wasn’t ready to leave that behind so soon.
The Interview was a success and he was hired within a couple of hours. Everything worked as it should have but something still didn’t feel right inside me. I still couldn’t sleep and still felt like I was in a fog and felt confused by my own emotions. It was almost as if I had been swallowed up by a tornado and thrown back out, wounded and still spinning.
Sometimes our own humanity catches up with even those of us who understand and we have to be reminded that the awareness we hold is for our good not our detriment. We all need to allow ourselves to tune in and listen to what we truly need to allow us to heal and experience our own emotions.
As a Coach and practitioner sometimes even I forget to take care for me. Teaching someone else how to find that connection and joy is so much easier than learning to live what you teach, daily.
After tuning in and truly listening to what my mind, body and soul needed to get through this process, I understood that especially because of my awareness there was something within me pleading for recognition.
I needed to rest! I needed to pay attention to the part of me that was feeling wounded by the storm that hit hard, fast and furious and allow for the emotions that never got processed and released.
I needed to do my own tapping (Imagine that). I needed to feel validated and heard.
We need to care for ourselves just as much(or sometimes even more) than we do for others and without that we can get lost in a sea of darkness, disappointment and despair.
There is a reason why we need support and compassion for ourselves and why we need community.
No one is expected to do life alone or without help. We are wired for community.
Please reach out if you want more information and at least consider the possibility of either working with me or someone else if you’re at a place where you want to make some changes.
Life doesn’t have to be a downward spiral. It can be an upward climb of healing and growth.♥️
Comments